I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He's on the porch naked. Help.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
