have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
