So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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