Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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