so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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