she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
