my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
