West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
