I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
