he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Acid is not a monday night drug
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
