If that was your dad, he is hot
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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