apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
