I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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