Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
