i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
