people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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