Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
