I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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