i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
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