Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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