We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
