So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
