The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
