her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
