I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
