...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
