one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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