i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
