she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
