It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
