Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
