I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
