I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
