So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
