Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
