Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
