Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
