Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
