so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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