living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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