like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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