Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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