Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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