I like to think it a success when the cops are called
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
