i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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