Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
