My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
