Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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