At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
