I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
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