ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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