i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
