I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
